Image Consultant, Style Thyself
The Situation: I spoke at a conference
Two weeks ago, I spoke at a conference here in Atlanta. The topic was one I care deeply about (image and executive presence) and it was the kind of opportunity for which I regularly coach my clients to prepare: a high-visibility, high-stakes moment where your presence matters just as much as your message. But this time, it wasn't a client stepping into the spotlight. It was me. (To be clear, I do a lot of speaking, but a lot of it is to corporate groups, SIGs, associations, etc. There's something about being on a stage, looking out at a large crowd, that makes it slightly more daunting. As we know.)
I prepped. In theory, I did everything I coach my clients to do. I thought carefully about the audience. I made sure my content aligned with the event. I looked through photos from previous years to get a sense of the vibe. I practiced my talk—many times. I chose an outfit that felt appropriate, flattering, and on-brand. I reminded myself of the core pillars of executive presence: poise, passion, and confidence. I even thought about my posture, my pacing, and making meaningful eye contact. The checklist was thorough.
My Performance: B- (C+ if you're a tough judge)
Performance doesn’t always reflect the hours of painstaking preparation. And while I didn’t fall flat on my face, I certainly didn’t walk off stage feeling like I’d nailed it. I stumbled over a few lines, wasn’t as expressive or grounded as I wanted to be. I struggled to find my rhythm. While I was speaking, I felt like I was trying to get a good grade (slipped back into business school mode) rather than connecting with the audience. I knew that I had valuable insight to offer, but I think I lost confidence pretty quickly.
I have a few excuses as to why I think I lost confidence. I lost confidence because it seemed like everyone there knew each other - except for me. And, although I had seen pictures of past events, I didn't dress in a way that 'fit in' with the other speakers. The other speakers dressed more casually - and I showed up in business attire (aka a suit). The other speakers didn't just speak, they entertained. They interjected humor - and they got laughs! I was the last speaker, so in my head I am second-guessing my topic, my attire, my delivery. By the time it was my turn on stage - my nerves were on high alert and my confidence was low.
I was not in the zone. How do I know I wasn't in the zone? I have seen the video recording: I didn't smile, I fumbled the talk track on a couple of slides, I held onto the dais like it was a lifeboat. Confidence, like style, is not static. Sometimes we’re in the zone. Sometimes we’re not.
Was it the clothes? No, but...
I saw an interview recently with Hannah Waddingham—the actress who plays Rebecca Welton on Ted Lasso. She said she drove the wardrobe department a little crazy because she insisted her character’s clothes be perfect. Not because she cared about the clothes for their own sake, but because they were a kind of armor. Her character had been deeply hurt, and the perfect 'polish' was a shield—a way to say, "nothing can touch me now." That stuck with me. Clothes are never just clothes. They’re an extension of how we want to be seen, and sometimes, how we want to protect ourselves.
For me, standing on that stage, I wanted to look like the founder of an image consulting agency. I wanted the audience to see someone polished, thoughtful, and professional. And in that sense, I think I succeeded. But, a different look, different clothes, could have helped me that day.
If I had known that the other speakers were going to be more casual - and deliver their content in a more fun way - I would have been a little less buttoned-up and a little more approachable. The content of my speech was valuable - even if the delivery was a little dry that day. So, my content was an A-, delivery a B - and my style - a C. The weighted average (content carrying the most weight) = B-.
There's always next time
It wasn't my finest hour, but it wasn’t a bad experience. It was a humbling one, though. And, it was a reminder that there’s always room to grow—not just in what we say or wear, but in how we read the room and respond in real time. I want to get better at that. I want to be a little more adaptable on stage, a little more tuned in to the mood, the energy, the audience—so I’m not just delivering a message, I’m meeting people where they are.
Eileen
